Six Degrees of Separation

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“Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people.”     ~Nido Quebein~

The general principle of Six Degrees of Separation holds that we are only six people removed from meeting the right person or people to help us achieve our goal or objective.

Thus, if you wish to meet a famous person or have an interview at a prestigious company which has already rejected your application, then you must only persevere to that sixth degree in order to meet Michael Jackson or get the inside track on a job with a large stock brokerage house.

Thinking back, my most stunning accomplishments or victories over nay Sayers have come when the Six Degree Principle was followed.

Sometimes it may take more steps to the finish line, but if you are fed up with being a victim or a loser then that thorn in the side shouldn’t phase you.

The jewels in this world go to those willing to stick around long enough for success.

Surprisingly, though Six Degrees works far more often than it fails, most people live in fear of challenge and avoid it at all cost.  Far too many complainers and skeptics never get beyond the first degree of separation before the dream-stealers, critics, know-it-alls, and neggies step in to strip them of their determination.

Nothing stands between your well-thought-out dreams, aspirations and goals other than your belief in what is possible.

Guard that gate to your mind vigilantly.

Tiger Woods was as close to a natural as you’ll ever witness.  So was Babe Ruth.  And so may have been Michelangelo and Rembrandt.

One might say that they had the luck of the genetic draw, and few might disagree with that assessment.  But that just isn’t enough to explain why they rose to extraordinary heights while others tragically crashed.

If one took all the raw and precocious talent in the world and matched it up against the raw and dumb bunnies of the world, my guess – based on 65 years of breathing and awareness – would be that the dumb bunnies will consistently rule the roost.

You just can’t measure determination, character and follow through by simply classifying people by their DNA pool, their inherited wealth, or even their circumstances of youth.

Many intangibles are at work when an individual is being chiseled into an adult.  The final work cannot be understood only by measures such as wealth or number of fans, though these are components which convey the adaptability and creativeness of the person.

What really determines the luck of an individual is how he or she deals with adversity and barriers – some self-imposed – which hold him or her back from the glory of success and realization of goals on a consistent basis.

The comfort zone – a place of refuge from challenge, pain and failure – is the choice of many people of intelligence.  They would rather talk a good game than play in one.

Thus, the dumb bunny wins because he or she doesn’t know or care about the self-imposed limits which the educated class smugly cling to when the winds’ of change approach.

If you are too smart for your own good, why not start today by taking the dumb-bunny approach?  Don’t let your brain and your elitist pride stand in the way of your success.  It’s OK to fail and lose because both are elements of victory in the final lap.

Apologizing

“An apology?  Bah!  Disgusting!  Cowardly!  Beneath the dignity of any gentlemen, however wrong he might be.”     ~Steve Martin~

When was the last time you said a gut-wrenching “I’m sorry,” and really meant to make things right?

Hey, I’m not talking about spilling the coffee at a Starbucks and getting a wet tissue to dab over the stain you caused on your neighbor’s suit or dress.

Nor am I discussing the “Excuse me,” you utter while taking a train seat from a little, old lady because you’ve had a tough day.

No, I don’t mean the muffled “Sorry, honey,” when you come tiptoeing through the door at 11pm without having bothered to call hours earlier to tell your wife to keep the sirloin steak in the freezer.

Many people never bother to grow up.  When you were a grade-schooler and the dog got out of the house by mistake, you may have said with favorable effect, “I didn’t mean it, Mommy.  I’m sorry.”  And Mom – as Mom’s are hired to do – gave you some slack.

But then Mom and Dad forgot to tell you that “I’m sorry” is just another lame excuse to wiggle out of taking responsibility or, worse yet, pass the blame on to someone else unjustly.

If you take this strategy into adulthood, no doubt you will run into huge obstacles and maybe even spend some jail time.

 

Nothing – absolutely nothing – happens to you or through you because you are blameless.  And nothing – absolutely nothing – can be patched over without your active participation in finding resolution.

The “I’m sorry” lameness will often lead others to look at you with disdain, disgust and revenge in their eyes.

Though this may seem unfair, the bitter truth is that people who take responsibility and look for remedies as a matter of course find infinitely fewer obstacles up the mountain to success.

So the next time you want to shrug and shirk when something bad happens in your presence, choose instead to pay for the cleaning, the repair, or the spiritual or physical damage with gut-wrenching (and sometimes costly) action.

A principled life allows you to never have to look over your shoulder or make excuses when adversity strikes.  It’s the first step in becoming a leader and a respected member of every circle you choose to join.

I’m sorry.  It was my fault.  How do I make it right?

This is a mantra you can bank on.

Ten Things Money Can’t Buy

Why is it that so many people who rise to the top of their game eventually sabotage their achievements?

Entertainers and sports figures are notorious for hitting bottom.  But so are managers, board directors and other less conspicuous achievers who may be rolling in fresh cash and the toys that money can buy, but mysteriously find their only solace in booze, drugs, gambling and cheating on their spouses or mates.

Tragically, you also find among those moving southward in life the swarm of people who may have risen modestly above past levels of personal achievement, only to swoon into a death roll at the first ripple of adversity.

Could it be that having money and the trappings of a so-called good life are the antithesis of what we really seek – happiness and acceptance?

Is it possible we are all being brainwashed and manipulated by an illusion that money and what it can buy will make you cool(er) and more lovable?

Many years ago I read a book which, although it has become somewhat dated, still gives an intimate glimpse into what life may be all about.  The title is “14,000 Things to Be Happy About ,” by Barbara Ann Kipfer.  It has an American flavor to it, but many of those happy things can be plugged into any culture at any time.  Give it a read for the cost of a dime.

Let me leave you with a list of my ten absolutely free tickets to feeling happy.

1.Lying on the lawn of your elementary school of years’ past on a breezy autumn day

2.Lazing back to Peter Frampton Live

3.Writing a love letter to yourself

4.Singing in the rain

5.Making the most ornery person you know break into laughter

6.Breaking routines

7.Doing much more than is expected of you.

8.Listening closely to a little child or a senior citizen in the mood to chat.

9.Belly laughing to Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s On First?

10.Understanding the power and gift of not always having to be right

Now it’s time to make your own happy list and then keep adding to it.  Your altitude is a state of mind, so do your best to put happy thoughts and actions into your life.  The more of them you have, the less likely you are to go into a tailspin.